The Day We Arrived Home...

...was a hard one. Mindy dropped Gunnar off at our house shortly after we left and we were suddenly parents of two children on our own. It was hard. We were all extremely exhausted and tired and totally at our whits end. Gunnar has been such a great big brother. Boy does he love that baby but boy has he been a huge pill too. He doesn't know when to stop...he doesn't listen most times.
We were eating dinner late (thankfully someone brought us dinner) and there was a bug on the wall behind Gunnar. Jeff killed the bug and I said, "that was such a nasty bug." Gunnar said, "that was such a nasty bug dad." Jeff interpreted it, "you are such a nasty bug dad." and Jeff proceeded to get on my case for constantly telling Gunnar to say mean things about him. WHAT!? We all started yelling at each other about it and I started to totally cry. It was aweful. I was emotionally drained from everything and done. Finally things calmed down and we finished dinner.
Later, closer to bed time, Gunnar didn't listen, continued to jump around on the couch and basically partially body slammed me. It was the worst thing ever. All this time I was still walking slowly around the house, hardly moving around, trying to take it easy because of my incision and he body slams me. He was carted off to bed so fast. I then proceeded to cry. Cry because it hurt really bad and cry because the entire afternoon was incredibly frustrating and I was tired and felt that I couldn't give both of my boys the attention that they needed.
To this day, Gunnar still acts out because of lack of attention. I know that is what it is. Now that I am feeling better and more up to it, I hope to carve out time just for him and I. It has been such a challenge because my body is still recovering and Brecken is on such a random schedule. Now that it is starting to normalize, Gunnar and I can get into a routine again. I am also not one of those that tries to pride myself in doing too much too soon. Just not smart and I would rather heal correctly than have problems.
Jeff is approaching his days back to work again on Monday and I am getting a little anxious about the change. He has been a tremendous help and him and Gunnar have been able to do some fun things together, just the two of them. What do I do while they are gone? I pretty much sit on the couch feeding Brecken. I told Jeff last night that there is going to be a permanent dent in one spot because it feels like I never move. That kid eats all the time. At least it feels that way.
On the bright side of that day, we came home to clean carpets and a house that smelled so good because of it. My mom was such a huge help in doing that for me. She knew that I wanted to do them for so long but never had the energy to do them. I appreciated that so much. Mindy also cleaned up around my house too which was awesome. It felt so good to come home to that. Now it just feels like we have baby explosion all over.