Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Opening and Closing like Scissors

You know those stories or incidences that you think about writing in your journal/blog and then you think to yourself that you better not. But then you think about years or decades from now and how you would have wanted to remember it. This is one such story. It involves Gunnar. Of course it involves Gunnar. This kid is crazy and he is a boy. There is bound to be a crazy story or two from him. I want to remember the good and the crazy of parenting this child. I just know that he and his kids will laugh years from now reading these. Mothering is not all roses like some blogs depict.

A couple of weeks ago, Gunnar went running to the bathroom. Okay, I hope he does that. Jeff and I were sitting on the couch watching tv. It was at night. Then we hear him running to his room. I confirmed it with Jeff and sure enough he went running to his room shutting the door behind him. A few minutes later he came out and back into the bathroom he went. What was going on?! We let a few minutes go by and Jeff mentioned that I should go check on him. I tried to open the door and he was pushing it tightly shut. He didn't want me in there. Fine. I went back to the couch. A couple of minutes later he came out and went straight to his room and never came out for the night. I went in a little while later to see what that was all about and he was out cold. Fast asleep. I wasn't surprised because he was exhausted but how convenient because I have no idea what just happened. I checked the bathroom and saw nothing wrong and went on with my night.

Fast forward to the next morning. I could hear Jeff talking to Gunnar about the night before. He didn't really give up any information. Jeff wandered into our room and I started asking him questions. He is a pretty honest kid and started telling me how it all went down...

He started telling me how he had to go poop real bad but his bum kept opening and closing and opening and closing. Pause...now you have to totally envision what he was doing. Put your fingers in the scissor like position and open and close them slowly as if you were cutting. That is what I got to see at about 7:30 in the morning. He ran to the bathroom a little and missed the toilet a little. Insert start of horrified look here. He ran to his bedroom to change his underwear and then back to the bathroom to clean up his mess. He told me he wiped down the toilet but a teeny tiny poop fell on the floor. Insert, totally horrified look here. But he told me not to worry because he left it there so the ants could come and eat it all gone. So disgusted at this point and not sure that I want to go in there and see what he was talking about.

I told Jeff and we had a good laugh because really, who wouldn't. After the scissor motion and the ants you just had to. After Jeff left for work, I got on latex gloves and went in there. There was a little bit of smeared poo on the toilet seat where he obviously tried to clean it up himself. And yes there was a tiny bit of poop on the floor between the toilet and the wall and no the ants did not help themselves.

As I was cleaning in and around the toilet, I moved the trash can and discovered dried pee all over. So gross! As I was cleaning THAT up, Gunnar comes waltzing in asking me what I was doing. I told him I was cleaning up his gross pee. He proceeded to tell me that he knew he did that. Why, I ask. Because he claimed he didn't know where to go before. I told him it has always been the toilet. "Ya, I know now," he says. What was he thinking.

Another reason why I don't fully understand little boys mind's. I was feeding Brecken a jar of applesauce with cherries this morning and he didn't finish it. I put it in the fridge for later. I know with absolute certainty that I did it. I knew what shelf I put it on and everything. I went to grab it for lunch and couldn't find it. It was gone. I asked Gunnar if he knew where it was or took it. He adamantly denied knowing anything about it. I felt differently but he kept denying anything. I started to think I was crazy and lost it or misplaced it or maybe it was all gone and I didn't remember. I told Gunnar to tell the truth and tell me what happened.

He proceeded to go into this long spill about how he happened to see it earlier and got it down. He only wanted to try the applesauce and the lid to see if he liked it. But his brain sort of shut off and he couldn't help it to eat the entire thing. The whole explanation was so much longer than that and pretty funny but I had to take it as a teaching opportunity about lying. He is starting to get to the point where he doesn't tell the truth all the time. I am not sure that I like this next phase of boyhood.

I figured I better document these lovely stories. You never know, they could be ones that are told over and over with laughs in years to come...right Heidi! haha

3 clever remarks:

Megan and Greg said...

Oh man, the ants. That is pretty funny. Where do kids come up with these things? Sounds like a gross mess, but isn't that just the way motherhood goes sometimes? It's cute he tried to clean it himself though. Why do kids lie? How do they even LEARN to? I'll never forget making salmon for our little nephew and he took a bite- I could SEE plain as day that a bite had been taken- and I asked how it was and he swore up and down that he hadn't tried it, when so obviously he had. Why would he lie about eating his own dinner?

katy said...

That is too funny. I can picture him a little stressed trying to figure out how to clean up his mess. Oh man, I am still laughing. It's pretty funny how their little minds work. I can see his little fingers opening and closing too. I am glad you wrote this. People should be more honest about parenting. That way people know what they are getting into,
the good and the bad.


HAHAHAHAH- love it. love the ants and teh scissor motion. And I love hte "brain shut off" so he finished the applesauce- haha. thanks for sharing. And thanks for what you said about the nursery, i am trying not to care about it.